hese two guys were approaching the first tee. The first guy goes into his golf bag to get a ball and says to his friend, "Hey, why don't you try this ball."

He draws a green golf ball out of his bag. "You can't lose it."

His friend replies, "What do you mean you can't lose it?!!"

The first man replies, "I'm serious, you can't lose it. If you hit it into the woods, it makes a beeping sound, if you hit it into the water it produces bubbles, and if you hit it on the fairway, smoke comes up in order for you to find it."

Obviously, his friend doesn't believe him, but he shows him all the possibilities until he is convinced.

The friend says, "Wow! That's incredible! Where did you get that ball?"

The man replies, "I found it."

Amateur: ``How do you get so much backspin?''
Pro: ``Before I answer that, tell me, how far do you hit a 5 iron?''
Amateur: ``About 130.''
Pro: ``Then why in the world would you want the ball to spin *back*?''




Q. What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Lady Di??
A. Tiger Woods has a better driver.

After hacking my way around a course with a professional golfer, I asked him what the problem was with my game. He answered cooly and casually, "It's simple, you're standing too close to your ball............after you hit it"!



During a Pro Am, Tiger Wood's partner asked, "Well Tiger, what do you think of my game?"
"It's OK," said Tiger, "but I prefer golf!"



Two golfers were playing along somewhere near the edge of the course. One of them gazed across the fence and remarked, "Look at those idiots over there ice skating in this blizzard